Saturday, March 12, 2005

Jobless!!!

With Techfest the past ten months flew by keeping me involved throughout. I never had time to sit down and indulge in questions that never lead to any answers..... it saved me a lot of trouble, I never had to sit down in my room and wonder what to do, always had something or the other to do and if I were free I knew I better study.
Now that Techfest is history and I once again have a lot of free time I am distressed and scrambling to find something that would keep me occupied and away from the guilt of not utilising time properly. Must say doing nothing ought to be more fun than its turning out to be :(
Have bought a new comp but that is not helping me much, just providing more ways of spending time away from people and in not very fruitful ways. Seriously I feel utterly blank when I try thinking of somehting I'd like to do and wouldn't mind doing all the time.... just can't think of even one such thing, makes me feel pathetic at times. All I do is build castles in the air being absolutely clueless as to where to start in order to make those dreams come true or may be I'm just too laid back and lazy to embark upon any new venture.
Thinking of what made me work the days that have gone by leads me to believe that may be I need a reason that goes beyond myself to work. I was not the only one doing Techfest and my being lax in my work would have hurt the dreams and expectations of twentyone other guys and that was a risk I just couldn't have afforded. Something like how I ride a bike very safe with someone sitting behind me and much more freely and carelessly when riding alone. I like the freedom of riding alone/doing/not doing things as per my will but am a better rider/sensible person with someone behind me.

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