Tuesday, October 25, 2005

The Class

“As I already told you,…” started Mr. Bhatnagar, our physics teacher. A perfectly fine opening line for a class, except it generated a spectrum of responses among the students (confusion underlying almost all) when he said that the first thing on the first day of the year.

The frontbenchers were agitated – “what did he say that I missed?!! Maybe it’ll appear on the test, maybe I’ll flunk, my parents are gonna kick me out on the roads. Ah the shame!! I’ll end up being a paan-waala, can already hear it ‘haan bhai, do katthai malai maar ke dena khatakhat’”.

The balcony seat occupants (these are the seats next to the window and are occupied by the ‘kewl’ guys who have the grit to use them as an exit in order to express their resentment against the ‘never to be used in life’ stuff taught in classrooms) are seen scratching their heads – “man, this +2 stuff goes right over the head. Couldn’t register a word of what he said. I should consider quitting and opening a paan ka dukaan, will also have an awesome website!! Wonder if chicks dig such shopkeepers :-?”

With all my buddies, I at the back of the class (yeah, have always been a backbencher) was oblivious to the proceedings of the class. Truly speaking I was more engrossed with the new tactics of cheating in exams that were being discussed by Audi, Tony and Prerana, ‘the stuff that is of use in life’.

Math followed physics, and thanks to Mrs. Trivedi the frontbenchers felt respite and the paan-waala idea were reinforced amongst my cool pals in the prestigious balcony seats. Mrs. Trivedi had her way of keeping the entire class involved and made people come up (in the order of seating) to the board and work out problems. Babita was busy using heads and counting to see when it would be her turn so that she could fall sick and take the day off, while Noman planned an undercover relocation operation to join those who were already past the pearly gates. Parijat was giving a crash course to the lucky few around him, and the falcon-eyed Uba was scanning the girl’s notebooks for solutions. When the ball rang, the latter rings were drowned by the sound of our collective exhalation.

Break!! Time to have fun, socialize and for some devoted ones, play handball! For the uninitiated handball is similar to squash with just the front wall, a tennis ball and the hand for a raquet. Any further attempt to describe the game would make the game as clear as quidditch is to a normal Potter reader.

Aakash, now unshackled, ran in the hallways like a bull on steroids – goring juniors, skidding all around, breaking switchboards, bulbs, holders…singing “tan ki shakti, mann ki shakti, Bournvita!” Now, if only the building maintenance would've made the connection, they’d have saved thousands of rupees by advising his folks to go easy on the dosage!

Pak-pak-pakya would head for the fields and be ready to challenge anything that moved to a race and prove his mettle…since the fateful day when he let us down in a 4x100 relay where he did a slo-mo run to showcase his moves for the benefit of the camera-less audience.

Joshi, (the tormented) would have the gang pouncing upon all his possessions with S.W.A.T like efficiency the moment he left the site. Every worldly possession the chap dared to bring to school would vanish in all directions – his lunch box in Jennis’s bag, the water bottle with Ankush and the bag itself on a bungee cord outside the window – simply genius!!

And what did the gang do when they didn’t feel like listening to the teacher blabber? OK, here goes:

Plan A: Cut class and disappear by intermingling with the so many already on the fields. The gang is a famous pack, neither their presence on the field nor absence in the class would go unnoticed… hmm, not gonna fly!

Plan B: Take permission for some official work and go do all this work in the footer field, or the basketball courts. But the basketball court is frequented by Father Jose, who could actually be head of security, Tihar Jail. Man, he had the eyes of a thousand hawks, would pick even a fly out of its place!! No, not gonna take that route.

Plan C: Idea! Unite the entire class under the spirit of freedom and instead of a political procession, moan and howl as if the very spirit of life would abandon them if they were fed with any more knowledge for the day and ask for an off. An intelligent choice of which teacher to try this with would almost guarantee success. Hehehe, brilliant! Cruel grins on the devils. Nobody could subject them to anymore classroom torture, NOBODY!!!

And hence the day would end on the fields with everyone engaging in whatever they wanted to, ranging form sports like football, basky, volley to spending time in the library looking at books with pictures (National Geographic most of the time) to sitting in front of the comp in the compy room doing nothing but chit-chatting with the ones accompanying you and for some even walking all around the school. A whole spectrum of ways to kill the time they had bought after much deliberation from the teacher.

And the final meeting ground for the entire class would be the cycle stand where all would gather to be the first who break free and reach home to be back for another just as entertaining day at St. Xaviers.

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Disclaimer: The information above has been modified to suit the mood and might vary from the facts at a number of occasions. Kindly bear with me :)

Sunday, October 23, 2005

St. Xaviers Rocks

Though I know most people wouldn't be interested, just couldn't resist the temptation.

Here are some really treasured pics, most haven't come out well after scanning but then that makes them feel old and from times when digital cameras weren't in place :)

The Classroom

Front steps

The Boyzzz

and with the gurlz

Saturday, October 22, 2005

School


This one’s dedicated to all my school friends. For the record, I am from St. Xavier’s Jaipur. The school also features in an advertisement these days, with Virender Sehwag promoting some brand on the steps (seen in the pic) leading to the building.

Come to think of it, all this is long gone in history, to the times when Jaipur didn’t have a Barista or CCD, had 6-digit telephone numbers, Statue Circle was the favourite evening hangout, Birla Planetarium was a splendour, ice-cream meant Milky Way, the main city was sooo far away!!

“Oye ladke naak mein se ungli nikaal!!” (Stop picking your nose) bellowed Rana (the PTI) from his pedestal just before the daily assembly/prayer. A bull of a man, dehati (rustic) to the core, he towered over us – a sea of puny little men/big boys in our blue, white and grey school uniforms. When you heard that bellow, you stood at attention, tucked in your shirt, checked your badge, belt, shoes, nails etc and put on your ‘It wasn’t me, sir’ face. While most of us were good at this regular business some of my buds with politically incorrect faces and a burning desire to prove to themselves and may be to the women about them having the guts to take on just any hardship that comes their way.

As always, they chose to continue with their engrossing exchange of ideas about this fair maiden that was at tuition with them. All this time Rana was charging towards them… and the white sea was parting to give him way on his seek & destroy mission. It was too late when the heroes (and to be martyrs) of our class realized his ominous presence. “Five rounds of the football field”, he said, followed by “get this note signed by your pitaji (father)”. Ah the embarrassment of having your parents involved which gets most heroes into peril, they start in unison “sir, sir… paleez, just this one time.. wont happen again, never….!!” Martyrdom of guts and coolness.

The melodrama carried on only till the National Anthem came to rescue and all had to shut their mouths and stand in attention to show respect to the nation.

After the daily helping of philosophical fundaes (for the enrichment of the mind) followed by some insights about the same and necessary announcements form Father Principal we headed back to our classrooms with the speakers churning out some classical melody which I always associated with the calm before the storm our teachers were gonna let loose in classrooms.

Being tall since ever, I had the privilege of watching the entire class march up the stairs, each one a distinct piece of art by the Lord Almighty. Leading the way, the least tall of the bunch, Sethi with energetic strides, followed by the classy Ms. Brandon trying to balance her Head Girl badge so that it stays upright. Drug lord Juned just about managing to drag himself up the stairs flashing his mischievous smile that leaves you guessing when he’d strike, Harsh in serious conversation with Malli about their gymming schedule and the new strategy to get that perfect body despite all the academic work load…. all this until we reach class and the all important attendance begins.

Once finished with it the teacher began with the grind…

More action from the classroom in the next entry!!

Friday, October 21, 2005

IIT Bombay v/s IIT Delhi

Talking with a friend at IIT Delhi I happened to engage in the age old controversy today. “Which of IIT Bombay and Delhi is better?” A number of magazines have attempted to unravel the mystery time and again ending up with nothing but epithets like trash, shit, crap et cetera, especially amongst the “crème` de la crème`” of the nation :P:P

Putting all the time I have to some use I decided to analyse the case. In sync with the ongoing Googalization of the planet, I too resorted to Google for help with the never-ending debate.

Searching for “IIT Bombay” and “IIT Delhi” made Bombay win hands down (361,000 results to a dismal 162,000). :)

Enthused (read, with a lot more lukkha time at hand) I delved further for detailed ananlysis.

Results:

“IIT Bombay”, academics – “IIT Delhi”, academics: 79,000 - 41,000

"IIT Bombay", awards – “IIT Delhi”, awards: 84,500 - 37,600

"IIT Bombay", jobs – “IIT Delhi”, jobs: 54,000 - 49,700

"IIT Bombay", success – “IIT Delhi”, success: 32,000 - 23,700

IIT Bombay Rocks!!
….. so far :-|

"IIT Bombay", fun – “IIT Delhi”, fun 12,500 - 17,900

“IIT Bombay”, girls – “IIT Delhi”, girls: 10,300 - 21,700

“IIT Bombay”, sex – “IIT Delhi”, sex: 599 - 16,400!!! :O

Here is an insightful conclusion to be reached, which I am not quite able to do. People reading this are requested to do the needful :)

All I can say is Bombay rocks :), though this might be more out of prejudice but who cares :P

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Management

With so much of CAT all around, this stuff I found somewhere on the net is definitely worth a chukle!!

Lesson Number One
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A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two
*********************
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some m ore dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Number Three
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When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The Brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions." The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss.
So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the Feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.
Eventually they all decided that asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.

Lesson Number Four
****************** ***
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Comeback

Unable to make an entry for long now, I have been thinking hard to come up with something to write about which doesn't quite seem to be the appealing thing to do. Guess I should just write whatever comes to mind for now and get things rolling out here once again.

What have I been doing all this while?!! Lets see…. the last post I made was about some post mid-sem crap after which I have been on a ghoomna ghaamna spree. Airport, Colaba, Marine Drive, desserts, coffee, highways, nightouts have been a constant feature for about a fortnight now.

Was talking to Harki about the useless life I have been leading when he reminded me of the similar feelings he expressed at about the same hour of the night roughly a year back and all the “constructive” suggestions I gave him :P Once prompted I have been utilizing time of late :D

Started playing squash (yes, after a long long time of intending to do so). Read a few books viz. Siddharta, Brave New World, Catcher in the Rye. Currently reading The Class and Catch 22. Must also mention a new T.V. series that brought home quite some happiness :) “The O.C.” of which I watched about 55 episodes (45 mins each) in less than 10 days.

People all around have been mugging for either CAT or GRE both of which make me realize time and again that my vocab sucks. Have been trying to decide upon an effective way of changing that not to much success so far :(

So much for now, but before I quit I must lay down some stuff I’ll be writing about in days to come to ensure that I actually do.

  1. Stories from school
  2. Some book reviews
  3. How and why O.C. rocks
  4. Places one must go to in Bombay, treats/nightouts
  5. CAT/GRE/Vocabulary